What to Do When You’re Stuck, Overwhelmed, Anxious, Out of Time, Frozen and Don’t Know What to Do
Do you feel STUCK in your life, business or relationships?
What does it REALLY mean to be stuck?
What if FEAR was actually the cause of your stuckness?
What if you had a super simple map that could help you get out of the fear and “stuck” mode SUPER quickly?
On this episode of The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks and I deconstruct the four types of fear, what they mean and how they keep you in that cyclical, stuck mode.
We’ll also dive deep into the types of being stuck you could be in. One of the most challenging being business-partner stuck, which is a combination of relationship, business and money. AND we’ll share a very practical system that Gay developed over the last 30-40 years of consulting his massively stuck clients to help them get UN-STUCK.
Some of Gay’s clients are Hollywood actors and actresses, one of the biggest computer brands and dozens of NY Times Bestselling Authors.
You'll also learn what Gay calls a “10-second miracle,” which is something you can do in 10-seconds to get things unstuck and moving again. (I love to say, this is the result of a $25,000 question.)
Something I've noticed with a lot of people I've worked with, especially those in reinvention, who have had massive financial and business success, is that they'd rather be stuck than deal with the fear of not being as good as they once were or being compared to others.
One example I can think of is Eddie Murphy. He was at the top of his career, left to have a family, made a bunch of bad movies and a ton of money. Now he's doing stand-up again. He's been open about the fact that he wishes he would never have stopped stand-up because it's so hard to start again and now he's going to be compared to the way he was at the height of his career.
There’s no upside…except to reinvent and redefine yourself.
That's one side of this but the other side is people who are stuck in a place where they just don't pull the trigger. They'd rather stay in a place of confusion, overwhelm, and go nowhere. Both of us have seen this over and over again with our clients.
Usually what you feel stuck about is not actually what you think you feel stuck about.
A lot of times what you have to do first is to simply acknowledge that you're stuck. That's hard to do for a lot of people but it's VERY important. When you're feeling stuck it's because there are old programs running from way back, one of which is, “I don't deserve to be here.” A lot of people when they're feeling stuck, haven't really chosen to be here in the NOW.
When you choose to be here that means you're open for business 24 hours a day to whatever needs your attention. A lot of people aren't willing to make that kind of commitment. They'd rather stay in a state of low grade mediocrity all the time.
I call it sitting in your poopy diapers. Eventually you get used to the smell until it’s normal.
Here’s Gay Hendricks and me in the studio – giving and sharing love!
I’m honored to be Gay’s friend and partner in this endeavor.
Gay recalls an experience he had with a client a few years back who was really stuck. The client was really depressed because things hadn't been going well. He was classically stuck to the point where his voice sounded slow.
Gay talked to him for a while, just listening. When he asked if Gay had any suggestions to help, this is what he said. “On your way home today, were you thinking about everything that’s going wrong?” The client said he had been thinking about all of it for the last couple of days and that's why he called because he couldn't figure out a way to get unstuck.
Gay asked if there was anything else that caught his attention on his way home. The client thought it was odd that he asked because when he was coming up to his condo he passed an elderly lady that he knew and lived below him. He noticed that her front porch was cluttered with leaves and it occurred to him he could clean it off, then he forgot about it.
Gay told him to go down stairs right now, take your broom, clean it off, don’t tell her you’re doing it then come back up and talk to me. When he got back on the phone he sounded totally different. He no longer had that slow, depressive sound.
He had gotten so caught up in recycling his own negative thoughts over and over again, that he had forgotten to do what Gay calls taking the out breath.
In other words, you get so busy that you never take action out into the world so you recycle your “inner stuff” over and over again and forget to take action in the world where it could make a difference. It’s such a simple thing. By asking him to think about something that he could do for someone else, it popped him out of all of the self-referential thinking that goes into getting stuck.
Tune in to this episode to hear more about Gay’s practical, easy and quick map to getting un-stuck and moving forward again. It’s a super powerful episode!